Toxic Positivity is Trash - Here's What Real Mindset Looks Like

You’ve heard it before: “Just think positive!” or “Good vibes only!”

Sounds nice, right? But here’s the truth—life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. And pretending it is? That’s toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity tells you to ignore your struggles, slap on a smile, and keep grinding. But ignoring pain, grief, stress, or frustration doesn’t make it disappear—it just buries it deeper. That’s like spraying air freshener over a trash can. The smell might fade for a minute, but the garbage is still rotting underneath.

"Just Stay Positive" - Screw You!

As a small business owner, I’ve lived through the rollercoaster of wins and losses. One day you’re riding a high because something finally clicked—the launch worked, the class filled, the idea landed. The next, you’re staring down a loss so heavy it feels like someone pulled the floor out from under you. The emotional highs are intoxicating, the lows can feel paralyzing. And in those moments, the last thing that helps is someone saying, “Just stay positive!” That’s not mindset—that’s toxic positivity.

I used to slap on a smile and tell myself just that - “just stay positive" - but the truth is, those emotional highs and lows are real. Pretending they don’t exist only made me feel more isolated, like I was doing something wrong for not being happy all the time. What I’ve learned is that resilience isn’t about denying the hard moments—it’s about allowing them, breathing through them, and finding your way forward without judgment.

What Real Mindset Actually Looks Like

Real mindset isn’t about blind optimism.

It’s about resilience, awareness, and growth. It’s being able to say:

• “Yeah, this sucks right now.”

• “I don’t feel okay, but I’ll figure it out.”

• “I can sit with this feeling without letting it own me.”

That’s strength. That’s authenticity. That’s how you actually move forward.

Three Ways to Build a Real Mindset

1. Feel It, Don’t Fake It Give yourself permission to actually experience your emotions. Anger, sadness, fear—they all have a place. Let them move through you instead of locking them up.

2. Shift From Control to Choice You can’t control everything life throws at you. But you can choose your response. That’s the mindset shift that changes the game.

3. Practice Honest Optimism This isn’t about denying the struggle—it’s about holding onto hope through the struggle. Honest optimism says, “This is hard, but I can grow from it.”

The Real Work

Mindset isn’t a meme. It isn’t a “just smile through it” sticker slapped over a bleeding wound. Real mindset is forged in fire—through the wins, the losses, the sleepless nights when you wonder if you made the wrong move, and the mornings when you decide to rise anyway.

It’s not about pretending everything is fine. It’s about having the grit to face reality, the courage to own the mess, and the wisdom to look for possibility without denying the pain.

Toxic positivity says, “Ignore the storm.”

Real mindset says, “Walk through it, get soaked, and learn how to dance in the rain.”

That’s the work. Not faking it, not glossing it over. Living it.

Fully, unapologetically, and with the kind of resilience that’s earned—not gifted.